Emergency 411: Having a Baby

Emergency 411 | Apr. 28, 2007

I’m back with another installment of Emergency 411 — the answer guide with all the answers. In this episode, experience the joy and potential financial windfall that comes with having a baby.

Don’t let the fact that I’ve never fathered a baby have any bearing on my credentials in this matter. By now you should already know not to take my advice.


Blog | Apr. 24, 2007

So awhile ago, I did an Emergency 411 video where I suggested it was a “good idea” to “throw your drinks” at the band playing.

Getting hit in the head by a flying bottle at an Iggy and The Stooges concert tonight made me rethink my position. To sum up:

Throwing drinks at a concert? NOT COOL.
Ow, my pride.
Ow, my pride

On the upside, the staff gave me a seat right near the stage for my trouble. They also offered me a spot in the pit. (I declined.)

Iggy and the Stooges, I think.
an approximation of my vision at the time

And for everyone who wants to chime in with an “I told ya so”, or some mention of karmic retribution, there’s a comment form below.

An open letter to the Virginia Tech shooter

| Apr. 18, 2007

Dear VT Shooter,

I thought I’d share some advice with you, even though I’m sure you’re going to ignore me because you’re dead.

It can be tough for a young man having to deal with the hundred billion transgressions of his fellow students. Were it me, I would’ve said “enough is enough!” around 760 million.

But one hundred billion, really? I mean if that’s one transgression per second, you must’ve been schooled, like, 24 hours a day for the last thirty centuries. Not only did you massacre VT’s undergrad students, but you’re doing a number (no pun intended) on hyperbole as well.

Read more »

A Quick Smoke

Shorts | Apr. 17, 2007

Sometimes it’s important to stop and smell the nicotine.

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The Internet: Let’s call the whole thing off

| Apr. 15, 2007

According to this article on Yahoo! News, Researchers are exploring scrapping the internet.

Because the one we have now isn’t working out? I wasn’t really sure what brought on a need for a new internet, but some researchers think that we need a new internet because the one we have now barely works. But it isn’t too long before the article gets to the more cynical reason:

The first time around, researchers were able to toil away in their labs quietly. Industry is playing a bigger role this time, and law enforcement is bound to make its needs for wiretapping known.

This is exactly why a new internet is a bad idea. Just like including DRM in digital music at the behest of the RIAA, and the MPAA enforcing region codes on DVDs, the telecoms and wiretap-happy FBI are pushing for new features without any regard as to whether the end user actually wants them. And why should the average internet user trust the government and telecoms to have their best interests in mind? Anyone remember Net Neutrality?

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The perfect name for a coffee shop

| Apr. 7, 2007

Grindhouse, of course.

That’s probably not such a good name for a movie though, since no budget, crappy effects and wooden acting are not the best points to sell a movie on.

Three rooms too manyIn the new film celebrating a genre that really didn’t need that much celebratin’, directors Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino team up for a cinematic masterpiece not seen since their earlier success with Four Rooms.

Director Robert Rodriguez got his start making movies for $7000 and has grown quite a bit as a director who now spends millions of dollars making a movie that merely looks like it cost $7000. Meanwhile, indie auteur Tarantino continues to draw his inspiration from other movies of the genre, which puts him creatively on par with the directors of Epic Movie and Airplane! — except his bag of tricks draws from movies you’ve never heard of.

Will this new movie be as gruesome and nauseating as Rodriguez’s earlier kidsploitation flik The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl? Only time will tell.

The Warning Label Generator

Blog | Apr. 5, 2007

Fitting with my Emergency 411 series, there’s a warning label generator website just for making your own official-looking warning labels. I mean, who hasn’t needed this:

Warning Label

The Goons over at Something Awful have already put it to good(?) use, so check out their labels here, before they get reposted on Ebaum’s World or something.

See my Animation Showing in LA

Blog | Apr. 2, 2007

I’m feeling particularly embiggened this week.

Animation Show 2007(In addition to my winnings in Vegas this weekend) I learned this Sunday that one of my Emergency 411 cartoons was selected to be in The Animation Show! So of course I’ll be there to see my tiny, tiny video on the big, big screen. I had already caught the show last year at the Nuart theater in Santa Monica and can’t wait to see what’s been added since, as well as see who the other mobifest winners are. You can still see all the videos submissions over at mobifest.net where my Skydiving video — much to my amazement — graces the front page.

If you’d like to go, The Animation Show is this Tuesday at Laemmle’s Music Hall 3, 9036 Wilshire Blvd., Tuesday, April 3, 2007 at 7:30 PM.

On top of all this, my site got a mention on the Animation Show journal, in particular a cartoon Nick and I did on that jaded green giant, the Sarcastic Hulk. Check out the awesome quote:

…you’ve got to spend some time over at his site timtoon.com. In particular his “Sarcastic Hulk” is one of the funnier tv funhouse style revamps i’ve seen in a long time

All it takes is a little positive feedback to get me movin’ again. Now I can’t wait to start on another SH clip. One that has the Sarcastic Hulk, y’know, actually in it.