Tag: Neeerrrrrrdddd!!

File under: impotent nerd rage, big-time important stuff

I’m sorry to report that “Home Is Where The Hate Is” has been the first lame episode of The Venture Bros.

*DISAPPOINTING SPOILER ALERT*

The hilarious and edgy aside about Sergeant Hatred’s pedophilia problem alluded to in season two was blandly dragged out only in service of a couple of toothless gags. The bomb in Dr. Venture’s back, sure to unravel Sgt. Hatred’s career and also the endgame in The Monarch’s henching plans? Ends in a fizzle. Literally. I was on the edge of my seat waiting to find out what Dr. Girlfriend’s murderous moppets would do once they caught 24 and 21, or what plan the henchman would form to escape the tiny terrors, only to have the episode proper end with them still on the run. Again, no ending. It’s like the writers simply gave up 2/3rds of the way through. You’ll notice even Brock is disinterested in the episode’s proceedings.

I can accept the episodes that are light on action because they usually advance the characters, but this takes two minor footnotes (The Monarch moves into Phantom Limb’s place, Sgt. Hatred runs a by-the-book henching arching of Dr. Venture) and stretches them out into a mediocre 22 minutes. After last week’s episode — or the exceptional, mind-blowing season three opener — I know what the writers are capable of. This isn’t even close.

*END OF DISAPPOINTING SPOILERS, I HOPE*

You can buy a tee-shirt commemorating the worst episode yet of Venture Bros, but why?

Going off what’s being said about the youtube video *UNAIRED* OZYMANDIAS TOY AD!!! 1985, I’m starting to think this toy commercial is a very clever piece of viral marketing… or at least that’s what the folks at Double Viking seem to think.

Maybe the forum posters at rpg.net are right and it’s really a test shoot of the actual ad that got leaked?

I’m not sure what it is, but what I do know is the good people at WatchmenComicMovie.com put it in their top five Veidt product commercials.

They also remind you that voting is still under way for the top five ads — so get watching! Personally, my favorite is that mysterious toy commerical.

Oh, and here’s a link just in case you missed it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_jeslfkbmcE

My Watchmen ad got a nice mention over at über-nerd site Topless Robot today in Ozymandias Action Figure with Real Bastard Power. If not for the video, check out the comments by some eagle-eyed readers.

Besides oozing self-conscious parody (it’s too low budget and chintzy to be an actual commercial), the whole thing has an early-nineties vibe. And looking past the VHS wear-and-tear effects, it’s obvious it was filmed on low-end DV, probably as a cheap way of adding to the aged look. This reeks of a studio-made viral.

I’m not at all bothered that I got sussed out in about five comments; I’m just happy to be mistaken for studio-made viral marketing!

This isn’t the nerdiest thing I’ve done, but it’s definitely in the top ten…

I’ll let you know how the commercial shoot turns out.

I may be the last to learn about it, but Veidt Enterprises is looking for commercials for its new ad campaign due out in first quarter 2009. Deadline is June 2! This isn’t mine, but here’s an example of what they’re looking for:

It may be for a completely fictitious company, but at least it’s better than hawking ketchup. Hawking Ketchup — the smartest ketchup in the known universe!

Just making new nerdy song charts gives me such a Rush…

On a whim, I decided to skim a few pages of Charles Darwin’s The Voyage of the Beagle, and if discovering evolution through the process of natural selection weren’t enough, the stories of his adventures on the HMS Beagle are rich with exotic detail and are an engrossing read. The story reads like a precursor to pulp tales of daring explorers visiting strange lands, encountering wild natives and speciating island finches.

In the course of an hour we arrived at Ribeira Grande, and were surprised at the sight of a large ruined fort and cathedral. This little town, before its harbour was filled up, was the principal place in the island: it now presents a melancholy, but very picturesque appearance. Having procured a black Padre for a guide, and a Spaniard who had served in the Peninsular war as an interpreter, we visited a collection of buildings, of which an ancient church formed the principal part. It is here the governors and captain-generals of the islands have been buried. Some of the tombstones recorded dates of the sixteenth century.

My head is swimming with all the possibilities of adventure awaiting our heros, the Spanish war veteran, the mysterious black priest, and Charles Darwin as they explore the picturesque but ominous “Fort of Ribeira Grande!”

But that isn’t the end of it. There are so many great passages, I can’t leave it at just one.

The inhabitants had sufficient notice to drive all the cattle and horses into the “corral” [1] which surrounded the house, and likewise to mount some small cannon. The Indians were Araucanians from the south of Chile; several hundreds in number, and highly disciplined. They first appeared in two bodies on a neighbouring hill; having there dismounted, and taken off their fur mantles, they advanced naked to the charge. The only weapon of an Indian is a very long bamboo or chuzo, ornamented with ostrich feathers, and pointed by a sharp spearhead. My informer seemed to remember with the greatest horror the quivering of these chuzos as they approached near.

And even a little topical humor:

In the evening we reached a comfortable farm-house, where there were several very pretty senoritas. They were much horrified at my having entered one of their churches out of mere curiosity. They asked me, “Why do you not become a Christian — for our religion
is certain?” I assured them I was a sort of Christian; but they would not hear of it…

A “sort of” Christian. Charlie knew how to tell a coy joke that only gets better with age.