I could have worked for Apple

They flew me up from LA to interview for a job doing QA on Final Cut. I landed at SJC and my mom drove me the rest of the way to the Apple campus for my morning interview. While I was waiting in the lobby, in the suit my sister helped me pick out a few days before, I witnessed a sandaled Steve Jobs pass by as he walked through to talk to the receptionist. Like he’s just going about his day. I could be working for this man, for this company!

I met the department manager and he took me on a tour through the offices where they were working on Final Cut. I was so excited to be there, but when I saw that the people were playing foosball and riding around on Razor scooters… it started to just feel like any other dot-com. And I began to hesitate.

Maybe it was because I saw myself living in the guest room of my parent’s house, getting up at 6am to take the train to Cupertino, doing a day’s work, then coming back to little ol’ Hollister to sit at home for a few hours before going to bed in time for work the next day. It felt like a prison sentence.

Because the idea of getting my own place in/near San Jose, meeting new friends, and making the most of moving to a new city (that I just happened to grow up in) just didn’t seem like something I could do. That’s why I didn’t work at Apple. This was in 1999.

Then Tim got really quiet and just kind of stared at his keyboard.

The Nerd Handbook

I wish I had the patience to lay it all out like this nerd has. There are too many similarities in the way I deal with people, work or life listed in this article to quote, but this one seems apt for what I’ve affectionately been told:

Nerds are fucking funny. Your nerd spent a lot of his younger life being an outcast because of his strange affinity with the computer. This created a basic bitterness in his psyche that is the foundation for his humor. Now, combine this basic distrust of everything with your nerd’s other natural talents and you’ll realize that he sees humor is another game.

Read more on The Nerd Handbook. While we’re on the subject of bitterness and distrust, might I invite you to help the planet by helping yourself?

Shows you can watch while eating

Gordon Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares: YES

Dirty Jobs: NO

Adobe CS3 licensing breaks in OS X upgrade

Given the problems I’ve had installing CS3, the fact that its Java-based software updater has never worked, combined with the latest error message I received when trying to load CS3 after upgrading my Mac to OS X 10.5, Adobe isn’t making a good case for the benefits of legitimately purchasing its software.

(this image has been edited with Preview)

This nut bread is bananas!

I read and re-read the list of ingredients on a container of Ralphs’ Banana Nut Bread. The one conspicuously absent ingredient? Bananas.

Emergency 411: Going Green (Corporate Edition)

Help Tha Police

…and that, Jasper, is more or less the way it is in the ‘hood.

The definition of irony

…is getting a financial aid check for my college tuition the same week I had to drop my classes because of a new job.

[Those who know the definition of pedantic are invited to tell me if this situation is merely the definition of a coincidence.]

Is Rep. Waxman better than nothing?

I really like my congressman. Henry Waxman has been putting the screws to the executive branch for their “missing” e-mails, and I believe fighting the good fight for government accountability. Recently, you may have heard that whatever banks that haven’t already failed are going to need some easy money to stay solvent. Money from us taxpayers. And since I didn’t feel like writing a $700 billion check for some bankers who a) have more money than I will ever see, and b) did this to themselves, I wrote my congressman to voice my opinion against this bill.

The next day I was overjoyed that the HR 3997 bailout had failed! For the first time in the last eight wretched years, I felt like the will of the people was actually being enforced, and Rep. Waxman (my representative!) was continuing to look out for the little guy.

Now the bill is back in a more tempting, even more financially irresponsible form, making it a bill that both spends an inconceivable amount of money AND cuts taxes. It’s both asking for more money up front and less means to pay it back. Brilliant. Appalled at how much worse the bill had gotten, I revisited Rep. Waxman’s site, which was down for some reason to do with gov’t black helicopters setting controlled demolitions, to voice my complaints. Eventually I was able to get another email to him, praising him for his vote against the bailout and encouraging him to stand his ground.

But before I sent it, I wanted to fact-check my praise, and guess what I found? Despite Representative Waxman’s severe misgivings, he still fucking voted for it. On his website he gives a lame, have-it-both-ways excuse [PDF] that boils down to “it’s better than nothing.” Congressman, this is so much worse than nothing. It’s a bill so bad the Republicans don’t even like it.

I can only roll my eyes if the best my congressman can do is give in to what he himself describes as “a Hobson’s choice.” Don’t feel like you have to vote for a bad bill just for the sake of doing something, wait for the right bill to come along before voting in favor of it. If banks are in such dire straits, they will eventually yield to reason; if they aren’t, then maybe they aren’t in such a crisis after all?

In his statement, he cautions against letting our anger at “the excesses on Wall Street” get the better of our judgement. But it’s not Wall Street I’m angry at, it’s my congressman OK’ing a plan to spend an obscene amount of my money to support them.