Giving The Animation Show the “411”

Blog | Oct. 30, 2007

I’ve been really busy with another E411 the last few weeks and forgot to post this, but The Animation Show continues to be completely awesome and gave me an interview on their site!

Tim Heiderich informs on “Emergency 411”!

So if you want to know more about the boundless genius who thought of animating monochromatic stick figures, check it out! They’re actually really good questions (and if not for me, read the rest of the interviews to find out how the pros do it). And while we’re at it, the cartoon that was inspired by the worst opening act in music’s history:

There’s more on the Emergency 411 MySpace my YouTube page.

Evidently John Cooper Clarke

| Oct. 24, 2007

ControlBetter late than never I discover John Cooper Clarke. I went to see the new Joy Division movie Control at the Nuart theater in Santa Monica with some friends this weekend. Now I have a fairly self-evident shallow taste in music, and had originally written off singer/songwriter Ian Curtis as a morose, proto-emo spaz, but if I was trapped in a loveless marriage, had a kid, and was fighting grand mal seizures while trying to get my band going at age 23, yeah, I might not be able to hold it together, either.

Anyway, that’s enough of a pity party for a man who achieved more than I ever will by his early 20s.

In addition to hearing more Joy Division than I ever had in one sitting (“…you mean there’s more besides ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’?”), I also got to hear the dry monotone of a Manc poet barreling through a poem about “Chicken Town.”

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Songs not to wake up to

| Oct. 24, 2007

I present you with the worst of AM radio — not the AM band, but rather any music that wakes you up before noon. I heard the first two yesterday and now today. I think JACK FM is trying to kill me.

Everybody Wants to Rule the World
Choice lyrics: “Welcome to your life, there’s no turning back”

Love Till Tear Us Apart
Choice lyrics: “When routine bites hard, and ambitions are low”

Another One Bites the Dust
Choice lyrics: self-explanatory

Destination Unknown
Choice lyrics: When will my time come? Has it all been said and done?

The Message
Choice lyrics: Got a bum education, double-digit inflation / Can’t take the train to the job, there’s a strike at the station

Choice lyrics: You’re older than you’ve ever been. And now you’re even older.
(Since they never play this song on the radio, if you do hear it, it’s pretty clear somebody hates you.)

Choice lyrics: I woke up this morning I was feelin’ fine, but this cat starts banging man, what a swine.
Ironic considering this is a song about trying to get some sleep.

What Have I Done To Deserve This?
Choice lyrics: How am I gonna get through? How am I gonna get through?

You Can’t Alway Get What You Want
Choice lyrics: You can’t always get what you want / You can’t always get what you want / You can’t always get what you want

Choice lyrics: Peel me off this velcro seat and get me moving / I sure as hell can’t do it by myself

Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song)
Choice lyrics: Is that all you get for your money? / If that’s what you have in mind / yeah if that’s what you’re all about / Good luck movin’ up ’cause I’m movin’ out.

More Yahoo ‘News’

| Oct. 19, 2007

I hate writing about other news. It relegates blogging to nothing more than being a johnny-come-lately breathlessly enthusing, “Hey, did you guys hear what just happened??” Discovering news and discovering a news story are definitely not the same thing. Check out your favorite blog and tell me 90% of it isn’t reporting on someone else reporting news, paired with 10% navel gazing. (Me, I’m shooting for 100% navel-gazing with trace amounts of useful information.)

With that said, here again are links to stories from the front page of Yahoo! that are most assuredly not ‘news’:

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Can I get two tens for a five?

| Oct. 16, 2007

I love an obvious scam. I know it’s coming, but I’m willing to let it go as far as it can just for the experience of it, only to back off before any money changes hands. I guess I’m a bit of a con tease.

I was heading to The Cat & Fiddle on Sunset Blvd. when a scraggly man asked me if I had change for a $10. I didn’t have any singles, but I did have two fives. That’s cool, he said. Why he would need two fives was beyond me, but a stranger asking for money raised enough red flags that anything else suspicious is just icing on the cake.

“Man, it’s so hard to get change in this town!” he said, stretching to reveal he’s going commando under his uncomfortably low-riding camo shorts.

I pull two fives from my wallet, clumsily letting a third fall to the ground, just to see what’ll happen. Alas, he tries nothing. I hold my fives out and grab his ersatz ten.

“Oh… I accidentally washed it.” he grinned from behind cracked teeth.

His ten looked about as convincing as this:

Wake up, Sheeple!

There it was on matte ink-jet paper, JPEG artifacts and all. “No.” I said, “You printed this out.”

And then I handed it back to him.

Didn’t tear it in half, didn’t crumple it up, didn’t just take this shady ten spot from his counterfeiting ass, just handed it back to him. Sorry, and good luck with the next mark!

I’m such a rube.

Right Brain vs. Left Brain cage match!

| Oct. 15, 2007

Wow, a blog post about a blog post, what is the world coming to? Anyway, my friend thePete found an article from the Australian Herald Sun about how to determine if you’re more right-brained or left-brained, with right and left being shorthand for “creative” versus “logical”.

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The Top 10 Rap Songs White People Love

| Oct. 15, 2007

I’m not going to front. As anyone who’s read the Music section of my MySpace page can attest, these rap songs are my hip-hop bread and butter. White bread, that is.

The Top 10 Rap Songs White People Love

Given that, it will surprise exactly no one that I performed “It Takes Two” at karaoke a few nights ago, or that I wrote some quote-unquote erotic fanfic about “Bust A Move” on Weak Nights.

As spot-on as some of these selections (and honorable mentions) are, I would gladly trade “Whoomp (There It Is)” — a song I knew barely qualified as music even when I was in high school — and “Hip Hop Hooray” for Neneh Cherry and her Buffalo Stance. Where is the love, white rap enthusiasts?

And I would love to listen to “Hey Ya”, but it’s just a little too …you know.


| Oct. 11, 2007

I found this article days ago, but was willing to let it go until it made the front page of Yahoo!

Is that your phone or your imagination?

Research in the area is scant, but theories abound about the phenomenon, which has been termed “ringxiety” or “fauxcellarm.”

Oh. Really? Research into a trivial example of psychosomatic misfirings of sensory neurons is scant? Do you think it might have something to do with this being a completely frivolous research study? Is it even research? And how exactly is an unpronouncable mishmash of a word like “fauxcellarm” supposed to legitimize this kind of utter bullshit? Perhaps this study is appearing now only to offset the recent round of Nobel prizes.

The article goes on for what feels like an eternity, and by it I only feel stupider. I would like to go on, but I could swear I hear my phone ringing.

Speaking of inhumane…

| Oct. 3, 2007

I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but damn, eight hours?

Michael Vick takes eight-hour PETA course in empathy

The money quote from the group’s president:

“[blah blah blah mawkish sincerity] We weren’t interested in some kind of PR ploy.”

Yes, a lesson on empathy from the woman whose organization compared eating meat to the Holocaust. Afterwards, she then went on to lose an argument to Mike Godwin.