Archive for the 'Video' Category Page 2 of 3



I Saw You in Captivity at a Hostel Last Summer

Like a billion other suckers, I made a commercial to help advertise the most ubiquitous condiment on earth.


Hmm… looking at it now, I have a feeling this entry may not even get in. But please, watch and enjoy. And rate it 5 stars as often as you can. Thanks, fifteen readers!


Also, here’s me enlightening Todd about the highly complex process of video production:


Todd: It would take a computer programmer to explain it.
TimToon: Okay, let’s say X is your education, and Y is your skill. Let’s both assign them a value of NULL.
Todd: I’m with ya so far.
TimToon: Set up a while loop incrementing them until either one equals Success or you hit 32, then exit.
Todd: Wow, I’m gonna kill you.

And he’d be right to! Can’t wait for this exchange to show up on bash.org!

Harder, Better, Faster Guitar Hero

I have a lot of friends who are into Guitar Hero, and several friends who are into Daft Punk, but in their Venn diagram, there’s no overlap between friends who are into GH and those who are into DP. Woe is me, for I have no one with which to share this clip of Daft Punk on Guitar Hero awesomeness:

Yes, err… remember that part in “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger” with all the killer guitar riffs?

A Quick Smoke

As a consumer of internet comedy, it always seemed like something was missing. Then I realized: the video just wasn’t big enough. That’s why I’m presenting my latest as 1080i high definition video. Yes, there are a lot of comedy videos online, but it seems like everybody always has the same complaint: “Sure it’s funny, but will it fill my 60″ flatscreen?”

So check out my latest video, “A Quick Smoke”, in needlessly high definition. You know, for the the HDTV you don’t have.

Click for enormous video

You can find the standard-definiton version, as well as a heap of other spiffy videos over at my friends’ site Weak Nights.

I’m at a Shitty Concert!

I am pleased to introduce a third installment of Emergency 411, the answer guide with all the answers. Today we have a handy tutorial on how to turn a bad concert into a “rockin’” one.

By now you must be asking yourself, “Gee, where does he get his ideas?” Well, that’s just gonna have to be my little secret.

Catch the first two Emergency 411 episodes after the bump.

Continue reading ‘I’m at a Shitty Concert!’

Sarcastic Hulk is very, very clever

I tell ya, Green Man’s Burden.

You work your ass off at the high-energy physics lab, trying to buy the good life for your mouthy, hippie girlfriend, only she doesn’t respect you, she’s too busy “rebelling” against her military brass father. Maybe he didn’t hug her enough as a kid, so now she’s taking it out on him by protesting his corrupt military-industrial corporation. The very military contractor you work for. And to top it all off, on the one day you get bombarded with a lethal dose of gamma radiation, you find out your company just cut your healthcare.

It just makes you so… so… snide.

See what happens when a guy who couldn’t take it anymore… takes it A LITTLE MORE!

Continue reading ‘Sarcastic Hulk is very, very clever’

Make tonight a Weak Night

When I was at UCLA, probably the most significant thing I did was partake in a student-run television show some friends and I aired on campus TV. Sad, I know. Well, several years down the road, those of us left have endeavored to capture lightning in a bottle a second time, and the result is called Weak Nights:

Visit Weak Nights

I have to say that, much to my chagrin, my user profile on the site is a family tree that does not branch. Instead of making videos, I’ve been spending my time programming the site you’re waiting to look at in that new browser tab. So go there, click around and see the totally amazing videos my friends have produced. And if you’re going to comment-spam, just remember the person who made it all possible.

He was askin’ for it!

Recently, a UCLA student who failed to bring his student ID with him to the computer lab was forcibly ejected and Tasered by University PD. Seriously. The gross disparity between the seriousness of the supposed crime and the punishment meted out at the scene alone is bad enough, but the one thing I cannot understand is the attitude of people who believe the kid was asking for it. How could that or any other number of excuses justify the police officer’s tasering of an unarmed, non-violent man, just for forgetting his ID?

First off, the student was already leaving. The police officers were the ones who grabbed him. They were the ones who escalated this confrontation, threatened him with repeated electroshocks if he didn’t comply with their orders. (Already having thousands of volts run through your body causes you to lose muscle control, so he couldn’t comply. Still, the cops attempted make the student comply 4 more times.) Let me explain: when the student was already handcuffed, they Tasered him, even through he was not a threat. How can a person hold the student responsible for his actions while simultaneously absolving the police officers of their responsibility?

Shouting at cops and being argumentative is no way to win friends with law enforcement, because it’s pretty well-known that it’s well within their power to fuck you up. And maybe that’s the problem. When they are the ones given handcuffs, a gun and a Taser, cops should know that with these comes a responsibility to use them only when appropriate. These are not tools for merely enforcing one person’s will. The role of the police officer is to protect and serve, not to terrorize and bully.The officers here certainly forgot that, and that lapse in judgment for someone given their authority is inexcusable.

When students asked these cops for their badge numbers and they responded with a threat of tasering, it’s a blatant abuse of the power they have been given. And the reaction itself speaks volumes about how they feel about accountability when they know they’ve crossed a line. If they refused to give out their badge number, they knew what they were doing was wrong and didn’t want to be held accountable for their own breach of the law.

So to the people who supported those police, would you want someone like that protecting you? Someone who can harass and electrocute you with impunity, and you unable to defend yourself?

A person who acts like that is not a peace officer, they’re a bully behind a badge.

And for the people who shrug and blithely concede that hey, the world is a fucked up place: yes it is, so long as we don’t hold these people in power to be responsible for their actions.

The 1981 Computer Will Seduce You

This is a surprisingly less-than-dated look at the future of computers from a 1981 news piece and, unsurprisingly, it gives me a big nerd-boner thinking about the home computer as “the world’s biggest backyard fence to talk over.” Of special note is millionaire Steven P. Jobs discussing how computers will “seduce you.” Done and done!

The Microsoft iPod?

Just the idea is enough of an ipecac for me, but some clever jokers posted on YouTube a parody of Microsoft’s answer to the iPod’s subtle package design…

Homebrew Farscape DVD

I was a little disappointed with the corner-cutting on ADV’s Farscape line of DVDs and just as a proof of concept thought I’d show that yes, you can make a cool-looking DVD interface without trying too hard.

Cover -

The best part of the cover is its designer-imposter motif. Hold it up next to one of ADV’s Farscape DVDs and you’ll find it hard to tell the real one from the home-made one. The quotes, episode descriptions and even tiny credits and badges help complete the illusion. Like they say, “The devil is in the details.”

DVD Cover

Continue reading ‘Homebrew Farscape DVD’