U.S. terrorism watch list tops 1 million
If we’re winning the war on terror, shouldn’t the list be getting …shorter?
Archive for the 'Genuine Sarcasm' Category Page 2 of 8
This morning I bought a few hundred shares of stock and shrugged off the $400 price difference between the quote I saw and the one I got.
Last night, I bought groceries using $2.55 in coupons.
I worry that I misplace my financial priorities sometimes.
UPDATE: Okay, this is how I rationalized it: if the stock does well, I make back that $400 and it doesn’t matter how much I paid initially, since I knew I was only going to buy X number of shares no matter what the price. The future selling price is all I am concerned with. Until then, the only loss is the opportunity cost on that $400, which considering I’m buying Ralphs-brand food with coupons and driving the extra mile for gas that’s 1¢ per gallon cheaper, I’m not going to be using that money anyway. The other case is where the stocks do poorly and I lose all of it. Then I’m no longer a cheapskate — I’m just poor.
UPDATE UPDATE: Memo to myself, stick to your guns and do a limit buy based on Friday’s price when buying that Monday, otherwise you’re just another eager jerkoff who’s been waiting all weekend to overpay.
OPPORTUNITY COST UPDATE: Over the weekend I was hemming and hawing about getting an Xbox 360, but if I had waited until today (when I originally told myself to buy this stock) AND bought a 360 I would have been in the same position, financially.
INTROSPECTIVE UPDATE: With all this second-guessing I don’t think I have what it takes for these risky fiscal adventures. Maybe I’m cut out merely to work for a living.
Well, it finally happened. I forgot how to declare a variable in PHP. Anyone need a budding Actionscript developer instead?
Er, maybe I just shouldn’t try to code while drunk.
I thought that once I no longer had a 9 to 5 job to wake up for this would stop, but here are three four more songs not to wake up to.
Dream On, Aerosmith
Choice lyrics: Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream On Dream On
Dream On Dream On
You know, I was dreaming, quite happily I might add, until your shrill song woke me up.
Rocket Man, Elton John
Choice lyrics: Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone
Probably not a good sign that every morning I wake up to a feeling of abject failure, that I am diminished from who I used to be by every day that goes by.
Don’t Stop, Fleetwood Mac
Choice lyrics: If your life was bad to you, Just think what tomorrow will do. Dont stop, thinking about tomorrow
Because tomorrow will bring the same thing as today, like the day before that and the day before that.
Urgent, Foreigner
Choice lyrics: Urgent, urgent, emergency
Urgent, urgent, emergency
Urgent, urgent, emergency
Urgent, urgent, emergency
If it’s worth waking me up, I hope whatever you have to tell me is pretty darned urgent.
My sales pitch:
Bought at 2006 Comic-con and signed by artist Melinda Gebbie. Inscription is addressed to ‘Tim’, would make an ideal gift for someone named Tim or Tina. Slipcase has minor wear from shelving.
I’m always looking for new taste sensations.
Recently I added one part lime sparkling water to two parts cranberry-raspberry juice and the resulting concoction tasted great! It was like drinking a gummi bear! I was so proud of myself, until I realized I had just invented punch.
Homeless washing themselves with the hose outside my bedroom window.
Time to move.
Regular readers will know about my ongoing passive aggressive feud with Pepsi Stuff and their stingy reward points program. Well today I’ve consumed my 3rd gallon of soda (god, why?!) and have accumulated enough Pepsi Points to buy myself one (1) MP3 from Amazon!
Which will it be? Perhaps Violent Femme’s “Add It Up“?
- throw gasoline on a campfire
- ride a minibike without any brakes
- ride a minibike in sandals
- order more than five things from a diner and expect to get them all
- panic when there’s a wasp on your head
fallclimb down the side of a steep hill, instead of following the ridgeline- shoot out a TV from less than 20ft. away without eye protection
- fire a rifle in the direction of your friends
- post the stupid things you did this weekend on your blog
- throw gasoline on a campfire
I’m going to miss seeing Troll 2 and Shanghai Surprise in HD, but I recently cancelled service for my HD movie channels over the Universal HD movies channel. Why? Universal Movies channel shows full, uncut movies — complete with commercial interruption.
This is simply a boneheaded move. No one who loves movies would do this.
Not only does interrupting films to show ads undermine the movie watching experience, it’s insulting that as a customer I should have to sit through ads during the programming I’m paying extra for. The other two HD movie channels don’t do this, none of the pay per view channels and neither HBO nor Showtime do this, but Universal thought it was worth cheapened the value of their channel by infesting it with ads.
That is why I decided to cancel my HD movie service. I won’t be back until Universal gets rid of the ads and provides a service worth paying for. Say, I hear Netflix is a good way to get HD movies for about the same price?
Recent Comments