Why are there two menus for this?

Hold the mouse button down over the icon of an unresponsive app in the dock and get this menu:

Right-click on the icon and get this one:

Same three options. One is vertical, the other horizontal. Clearly they serve the same purpose, but are arranged differently, and in the case of the horizontal menu, poorly. Why are there two menus? Moreover, why does right-clicking on dock icon not reveal the app’s open windows via Exposé the way click-holding does?

Frenzy, to mean a panicked, unfocused activity

One of the five most important rules for writing good screenplays was sent to me today by a clever little girl from Script Frenzy, a “sister event” of the onanistic writing exercise known as National Novel Writing Month:

3. Economy of Words. This might be the most significant difference between NaNo and Script Frenzy (other than the height of the program directors). In a script, the goal is to convey the story without using more words than needed.

This nugget comes more than two thirds of the way through Script Frenzy’s nearly 800-word letter. After a belabored Austin Powers joke (in 2010!); not one, but two introductions; plus a helping of saccharine encouragement. So rather than informing the reader there is a script writing “contest” in April, the message really conveys how in love with its own too-cute-by-half prose the whole endeavor is. I’m sure the relative heights of the program directors will be important later.

Some more gems:

2. Pages. We’ll be counting pages instead of words. To hit 100 pages in 30 days you’ll want to shoot for three and a third pages a day.

Remember: 100 divided by 30 is about 3 and 1/3.

5. I Wrote a Script, Now What? Now what, indeed! There are so many options!

This is fairly open-ended, I guess because selling a script is always the easiest part.

As a great man (Austin Powers) once said, “Allow myself to introduce myself.”

Maybe I should have started with this. Once you open by having to explain an Austin Powers joke, you’ve already lost some credibility.

Here’s an idea: write a script whenever you want, however long you want, about anything you want, and forgo these programs that give you a pat on the head merely for participating.

Photoshop files order opens in no particular

Here’s my list of files as they appear in the Finder:

This is the order in which Photoshop chooses to open them:

I cannot find a rational pattern in the way Photoshop organizes opened files. Alpha-by-number? Ascending file size?

Is this health food safe to eat?

The irony being that an important part of eating healthily is knowing what you’re eating, yet I have no clue what the hell these things are.

They are wrapped in brown plastic, so they look like a candy bar. But they don’t say things like CHOCOLATE on them. Judging by the front of the package alone, it is ‘XoBiotic’ which — according to my rusty etymology skillz — ‘Xo’ means alien or other, and ‘biotic’ means living. Which would make this alien anti-food. What has a name that starts with X that isn’t followed by “The Conquerer” or “Space Mercenary”?

The second artifact is an “Xoçai MEGA” which — an X and a cédille? It’s a name better suited to a Quebecer’s fighting robot than a piece of candy. Maybe the MEGA means it’s for body builders? Does Creatine come in chocolate?

What other clues are there? It has 750mg of Flavonoids, which doesn’t do anything to quell that uneasy alien feeling. Is that a lethal dose?

It also has a staggeringly low or high ORAC VALUE of 5,100, which would be helpful if I knew what that meant. The only word I do understand on this thing is ‘Squares’, but as the package seems to actually contain one rectangle, I’m not convinced of that, either.

Flip the item over and find a note that *ORAC & Flavonoid values may vary. So it would seem the ORAC value is only accurate to two significant digits.

What flavor is it? The second item has orange slices on it, so that’s easy to assume, but the first block has green bubbles. Mint? Algae? Organic soap? Maybe it’s just decoration, since nothing else on this package gives a clue to the enigma inside.

Whom is it made by? The back label says it’s from Brunswick Labs, which is a peppy name for a candy company. Or maybe it’s just certified by Brunswick Labs, meaning it has been tested to contain no more than the maximum number of xenomorph spores safe for human consumption?

No wait, that is just the inspector. It is produced by MXI Corp, of the ominously generic Trademark Drive, Nevada. David Cronenberg, meet your chocolatier.

Although the texture is like pressboard, and I’m guessing the taste is akin to tree bark, I have not completely ruled out eating one of these things.

And the upselling continues…

Seriously, Gorillaz/Sony/whoever, if you want me to pay $25 for your CD, just price it at $25. And stop this $19 for the cheap version, $26 for the “experience” (or $13 for a similar experience, or $50 for exclusive online access) nonsense. Check out the sticker on the cover of Plastic Beach:

Circled: Sure you don't want the Gorillaz Experience instead?

Also, I have a feeling the online experience, access to a live broadcast, online game and other extras listed on the Experience CD+DVD are the same extras offered with G-Club. Looks like Gorillaz are double-dipping their fanbase.

Embrace False Icons

Screenshot from Gorillaz’s “Rockit” video from D-Sides 2006:

Purchasing options for 2010’s Plastic Beach:

• Full (though hardly complete) album
• Album with two extra bonus tracks and DRM (works only in iTunes)
• CD with making-of DVD for twice as much as the album (without bonus tracks)
• A modestly-priced Japanese version with one of those aforementioned extra tracks
• And let’s not forget £25 for the privilege of buying tickets earlier and 25% off merch.

Reject false icons. But first stop at our online store.