More Yahoo ‘News’

| Oct. 19, 2007

I hate writing about other news. It relegates blogging to nothing more than being a johnny-come-lately breathlessly enthusing, “Hey, did you guys hear what just happened??” Discovering news and discovering a news story are definitely not the same thing. Check out your favorite blog and tell me 90% of it isn’t reporting on someone else reporting news, paired with 10% navel gazing. (Me, I’m shooting for 100% navel-gazing with trace amounts of useful information.)

With that said, here again are links to stories from the front page of Yahoo! that are most assuredly not ‘news’:

Peanuts creator Schulz led secret life of misery

This can’t be news to anyone who’s read Schultz’ [What spelling and punctuation? -Ed] Schulz’s cripplingly depressing and painfully tedious comic strip. This joyless chore set the mold for comic strips as a rote, existential nightmare as opposed to, y’know, actually being funny. And the new biography describing creator Charles Schulz as “a man who could neither forget nor forgive any slight or lonely moment” comes as anything but news to anyone with even a passing familiarity with his interminable, unfunny strip.

Stocks Sink on Black Monday Anniversary

This is less un-newsworthy than it is just plain stupid. Black Monday. Black Friday. In the black. In the red. You tell me which ones are the ‘good’ financial news and which ones are ‘bad’. Maybe financial anaylsts are merely the least creative people who have ever lived, but the one modifier they apply to any financial news seems to be the addition of color — except black isn’t even a color at that!

So when a company is losing money, it’s in the red. But when it’s doing well, it’s in the decidedly more moribund black. Like on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, when retailers rack up the highest amount of sales all year. Or is that Black Monday I’m thinking of?

I’d also like to mention that the single for Blue Monday put Factory Records in the red. Coincidence?

Alas, if only there was some other color that was somehow relevant to financial news! May I suggest green?

Nas confirms album title will be epithet

Whoa whoa whoa, slow down! What is a hip-hop artist like Nas doing sullying the good reputation of rap music with a word like, um, whatever “N—a” is supposed to spell? Honestly, rap has gone on for decades without having to resort to using the word ‘n-dash-dash-dash-a’, so why would Nas want to drag it as well as the reputations of such paragons of decency as Silkk the Shocker, Suge Knight and 50 Cent down into this gutter? For shame, sir! For shame!

At least it isn’t as bad a name as !!!.


5 Responses to “More Yahoo ‘News’”

  1. ThePete says:

    “And the new biography describing creator Charles Schulz as “a man who could neither forget nor forgive any slight or lonely moment” comes as anything but news to anyone with even a passing familiarity with his interminable, unfunny strip.”

    I had no thought as to how depressed a man Schulz was. Based on his comic strip, I just assumed he was a boring old white guy.

    And I agree with you on the financial stuff–it sure seems like smoke and mirrors to me.

    Oh and I think you’re getting Nas confused with that other rapper, Sir Shames-A-Lot. Wait, I think that’s ALL rappers. It’s so hard to tell them apart! It’s like they’re all black or something! >_O

    Also: where the hell did the phrase “navel gazing” come from and, truly, what does it mean? It’s some lame-ass Greek myth, right? Some digital avatar stares at his navel so long he falls in and has to reverse the computer’s access code to get out. Right?

    I feel awkward even admitting I have a navel–I can’t imagine how anyone would want to stare at theirs.

    That said, I think you’re part of an emerging genre of self-loathing blogs that bag on other blogs for being, well, blogs. Like those folks that say “real” journalism is dying because of bloggers not having credentials. Like the credentials the folks at Fox News or the Washington Times have guaranteed quality journalism in the build up to the Iraq War (or the NYTimes or CNN or anyone else, really).

    The other thing I think that is important to note is that the majority of *any* type of media/genre sucks. This is because the majority of humans suck at what they do. But I don’t think all of TV should be destroyed because of that–I just watch very little TV. Problem solved. The same goes for websites. Just hit the ones you like and skip the ones that you think are lame. This is why you’ll hardly ever see me post on a forum. There is one that I visit for writers and that’s it. Forums are the taint of the Internet.

    Just my 2 yen…

  2. Tim says:

    I think navel-gazing had something to do with Plato’s cave.

    Anyway, it’s not my blog I loathe, it’s those that coast on merely commenting on other peoples’ content. When there’s a news story, how exactly does the reaction of some self-important douchebag with a account contribute to the significance of the original article? It doesn’t.

    It’s like the relationship between an artist and his critics — only one needs the other to exist. I prefer not to rely on other people to make news, I prefer to have a site that stands on its own.

  3. ThePete says:

    Yeah, but by complaining about those other blogs you’re kind of doing what they do, aren’t you?

    Kind of like a movie critic critic.

    Personally, I think there’s room for and importance to all of our opinions–however, I also think we can pick and choose which opinions we should give a shit about–that’s why I generally don’t read movie reviews.

  4. Tim says:

    Yes, that’s why I was drawing attention to it up front. Here I’m making an effort to not simply repeat other peoples’ news with my 2 cents thrown in. I would rather create original content than simply link to it.

    Now creating good content may be another story…


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