THIS IS NOT A STORY
Posted by Tim · 5 Comments
I found this article days ago, but was willing to let it go until it made the front page of Yahoo!
Is that your phone or your imagination?
Research in the area is scant, but theories abound about the phenomenon, which has been termed “ringxiety” or “fauxcellarm.”
Oh. Really? Research into a trivial example of psychosomatic misfirings of sensory neurons is scant? Do you think it might have something to do with this being a completely frivolous research study? Is it even research? And how exactly is an unpronouncable mishmash of a word like “fauxcellarm” supposed to legitimize this kind of utter bullshit? Perhaps this study is appearing now only to offset the recent round of Nobel prizes.
The article goes on for what feels like an eternity, and by it I only feel stupider. I would like to go on, but I could swear I hear my phone ringing.
Perhaps, they’ll win an Ignoble Prize?
That is possible, but the competition for those is getting steeper all the time.
No shit… did you hear about the doctors who won for discovering a cure for the hiccups? Their paper was called something very close to “Curing hiccups through digital anal stimulation”.
Seriously.